What now?

The gang rape victim has died but not before shaking us from slumber. Frankly, I have no right or expertise to lecture any girl on safety issues. But isn’t it surprising that girl’s self-defence training is not even in discussion topics of most families. Male members assert their right and duty to protect the females by accompanying them out a few times and restricting their movement in general. Housewives anyway have a million problems everyday so they don’t want to add another by worrying about daughters.
The fearsome situation is not going to improve in next many years. So, here are a few suggestive ideas which can add to personal safety a little bit.

1. We should accept that such a problem exists and our vulnerabilities can be reduced by making ourselves better prepared. Why is it that even in Delhi, very few girls participate in the self defence exercises? Why is it that NGOs, informal association (kitty party groups?) cannot rope in trainers to have some basic training for girls. Girls spend months learning dance for cousin’s marriages. Why not some basic defence techniques? It is true that one might not overcome heavily built men with it, but who knows, a little trick might save a life one day. And it will certainly give a lot of confidence which will prevent from panicking in crucial time. And since it is a matter of life and death, I don’t understand the apathy that we show.


2. Girls should get a protection kit (pepper spray, small pointed knife, a whistle to raise alarm). I read that if the girl confidently speaks out loud or show initial signs of stiff resistance, most of assailers would turn away to look for easier targets. I understand that it is so draggy to remember keep all this stuff every time one steps out. Especially when it has not happened with us yet and is statistically, a rarity. But then, robbery seldom happens while we have to lock our doors all the time.

3. There should be a personal standard operating procedure when girls travel late. This would include texting the number of auto to some friend who can track you while you reach back safely. Keeping a watchful eye all the time (stalkers, potential help) and holding your belonging close to avoid snatching. I follow these myself!

4. Demand proper street lighting and CCTV cameras from municipal corporation/council.

5. Please help when you find someone in this kind of trouble. Often passers do not help the victims to avoid becoming official eye-witness. I understand it can be really troublesome given the fact that the victim (this time) was not our daughter.

6. Finally, every mother should try to make their sons a little softer and daughters a lot tougher. And yes, watch Kill Bill


10 thoughts on “What now?

    • Frankly I don’t think middle aged women in this country want any change. They are so busy in their daily housework and content with whatever they have got. I would say our minds are trained to that.

      • Its not correct Priyank.Its not about age. Its about the conscience ..what speaks out. whether it is of a yound one or of an old one,if the spirit has died,nothing can change and so there is no require for any change! But for the middle aged woman too there is no securityt for her and for her family. people have to realize this that this change will be for the better and will help them .

        • I’m sorry, I meant that it should not be projected as a men vs women issue. Because many of the women are neither actively trying to improve their situation nor are they sympathetic to other women’s cause. For instance, many traditional mother-in-laws are involved in torture, son-preference and dowry deaths. As you said, the spirit isn’t there.

  1. FOREMOST.. Can we all at least promise that if WE as individuals see anything like this happening WE STOP IT , We see a naked girl thrown out of a bus badly hurt , instead of watching her plight we take that first step to help her ..
    The rapists and molesters are how many 10-20 at who might have gangraped the girl, but HOW many are standing there watching this happen hundredsssssssssss.. they are worse then the rapist , at least we know who the rapist is .. but the people standing watching the tamasha well what can i say about them they are worst than a rapist..

    I can understand demanding this or that will help, but if the hundreds are still standing and watching doing nothing , then nothing will change still

    • can’t help it. It is our culture and our history. No nation would have seen so many betrayals as we have. We seldom fought any war. Mostly our kings or their commanders would get bribed and let the country go. See we got a legacy!

  2. I agree with you Priyank. Thanks a lot for sharing. The first thing that occurred to me after reading your post was that learning Karate was on my priority list last year, but somehow because of my health-issues I postponed it. Now, I realize that I should do it as soon as I recover. Thanks for the reminder!

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